I Believe

I succeed
I rise
I fly with the birds
I swim with the fishes
I hustle with the devil
I live with God
My back is scarred
My hands are hurt
My feet are ice
My sweat is money
Green is me
But far from it
I like girls that play at night
I like mothers that feel me
I meet your whole family
And make them believe

Hood

When I hear the word hood
It reminds me about my past

When I hear the word hood
It remind me of my fallen goons
The goons that lost their lives
due to the hood and its wars

I hate that word now because
I lost a lot of close people

Now I can only say

Rest in Peace my friends
Love ya and see ya
At the crossroad

What Is Love

Love is more than just lust and sex
Honesty and trust is what makes love best
To just care about someone
doesn’t mean you love them
but love can make you lose a friend
Love will bring tears to the toughest men

Love can make you bleed with passion
Love can make you a walking disaster
Love is something found in the strangest of places
Love is so strange the Mayans couldn’t predict it
Is it love that makes you do the things you do
or is it the fact that you know
I will always love you

I Want Love

Yesterday I got outta bed
Nothing seemed to be wrong except the fact that if had been 2 days since you called
I kept making sure that…

My phone was on…

And I don’t wanna come to the conclusion
That me and you were an illusion
Cause it would be something that I don’t think that I could handle
VERY WELL!!

I want to love!
No more pain!
I wanna hear you callin’ out my name.
I want fairytales. No more rain!
I’m ready, do you feel the same?
Because I can’t stop! Won’t stop! Till I get what I want.
Baby all that I want is you.
I want love.

Pain Grows in The Heart

It started with a little hole in my heart.
Running around in dirty diapers, wishing it was food instead of rats
In the house with momma, wishing the crying would stop
But she don’t know about the pain growing in my heart.

As I get older the pain get uncontrollable
Wishing I was in the center of my mother’s arms while she reads my favorite book to me
But instead she’s doing a double shift at a restaurant when she should had went to school from the start
Because she don’t know about the paining hole that’s halfway in the center of my heart

People teasin’ me because they see disbelief in my eyes
But all along it’s tearful, tired eye, waiting for the painful hole to stop growing in the center of my heart

Now I am older, so momma gave me money, food, clothes, but still no family to love
Until one day, mom quit her job and can come home and she couldn’t give me no money, food, or clothes, just a hug
All it took was a hug and the painful hole stop growing above

Thank God

Life is hard
but I got to thank God
for letting me live
and all these years
and all the tears I’ve cried
I should be dead
but I’m alive
Thank You Allah

Saturday

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday,
I remember when I would wake
Every Saturday and look outside
To see those cars go by.
Every Saturday I would say
“I speak no English”
To everybody that was in the house,
I remember waking up every Saturday to the smell of my mother’s food,
No lie I miss being home every
Saturday.

I AM (written from a prompt)

I am “most talented” when I am:
Being inspired,
I am “most likely to succeed” when I am:
Out of trouble and doing the right thing,
I am “best looking” when I am:
Always getting outside the house,
I am “class clown” when I am:
Under the influence of drugs,
I am “best dressed” when I am:
Going out,
I am “best dancer” when I am:
That’s a lie,
I am “most friendly” when I am:
Sober and when I’m out with people,
I like myself best when I am:
Sober.

Life

Picture life in my shoes
What would you do?
17 years old
Dropped out of high school
Got a child
Yes! A daughter
Your daughter so precious
Baby momma askin’ questions
Wanna know all your confessions
Wanna know why her daughter’s father always got her stressin’
But life is just a lesson
A lesson untold
So even you live and you learn
Or you’ll crash and burn
Going down a one way to hell
And there’s no U-turn
You gotta feel me homie
I mean it’s only right
When da curtains close,
Fade to black
Your vision is all white
LIFE

I Couldn’t Win

Like a moth captured, I remain confined
While those looking in are unable to set me free
My freedom’s revoked, when I speak I choke
I try to talk, but my words simply flee
My once beautiful wings are becoming brittle
My fragile body’s becoming sore
The windows to my soul are clouded with despair
My gentle heart is now torn
I look for a helping hand in these times
No one to rescue me from my stress
Claustrophobic I am in this jar
Lack of ventilation’s causing me to lose my breath
Each day I fight to survive and conquer this tragedy
I’m slowly losing my strength
By tomorrow, I’ll be dead and gone
After years of fighting a battle I couldn’t win

Nowhere to Run

Dark fields of dismay
Before my eyes lie my shattered dreams and goals
Disappointment swims within
Motionless I stand as if time has frozen
No perception of direction
Everything’s so peculiar
No illumination, no friends, or joy
This place seems so familiar
No gleeful moments to obtain
Happy days and fun are now done
Solitude I must return to
Alone I am again, with nowhere to run

In the Midst of Seclusion

In the midst of seclusion
Weary and worn out
Torn and bewildered
Permeated with self-doubt
Fearful to submit
Too strong to fold
Careless of gaining anything
Too worried I’ll lose my soul
Caged in my mind
Afraid to allow my thoughts to be free
The doors are shut tight
Trapping the boy that lives inside of me
When he cries, I cry
Because we are the same
Two souls in one body
Sharing this mutual pain

Situations

Oh how my mind seeks rest
Oh how my soul seeks a friend
My soul still goes without
Because of the situation I’m in
My situation causes pain
It causes distraction and disgrace
It even caused the ones who loved me
To disappear before my face
Some lasted for a winter
Some through a spring and fall
Some even lasted for a summer
But my situation outlasted them all
Now it’s only me and my situation
And it haunts me like a curse
Some even think my situation
Will outlast my life here on this earth
But God forbids, he won’t allow
My situation to last that long
For God made me a real man
And my situation is not that strong

Looking In The Mirror

Coming home to a whirlwind, and I’m trapped in the middle
Drugs, money and violence just to name a little
Scared to ask for help because I’m afraid of being denied
Thought I would find my own way, but I followed the wrong guide
With each step I took, I didn’t realize I was moving backwards
I wish my life was a movie and I was just the main actor
Instead of manning up and facing my fears
I cut all corners and made it my career
What will I do differently this time? I ask and I ask
Words aren’t nothing but letters put together–acting upon them is the real task
I figure I should tell on myself because I can never tell on anyone else
Maybe the right ears will hear this and I can find myself some help

I’m Still Here

As a man, I will accept my fate
But as a father, brother and son, I feel endless pain
People may think that because of my smile
That my conscience don’t speak to me at night out loud
And to think I thought I was untouchable
My Momma always said past things will catch up to you
There’s no excuse for my presence being missed
Daughter, I’ll do anything just to give u a kiss
I’m not much of a father, but to God I swear you are my only grace
And Momma, thank you for never wearing shame on your face
I am still blinded by day and that’s what worries me
I feel like a different person and I’m trying hard to get a grip
I once was a young man with my whole life ahead of me
I was born amongst the brave so I know I’ma be okay
Because even in danger a man like me feels safe
Sometimes I say things to God but he never reply
And it makes me wonder is it possible for God to cut all ties
I’m still here…

My Thoughts

Sometimes I wish I was a kid again
Without a care in the world
There wasn’t no bills to pay
No mouths to feed
I didn’t care about what type of clothes I had on
There wasn’t no beefing or killing
No fed time or probation violation
Crazy
What am I supposed to learn from this
Who is gonna take care of my kids
Or should they just be some more mouths on welfare
Section 8
Somewhere in the projects to turn out just like me
Behind a fence with a whole lot of time to think.

Danger

Run little black boy
Run away, run away
But my legs wouldn’t move
I felt like my legs were glued to the pavement
My little 10 year old eyes shouldn’t have seen what I saw

I could almost taste the blood as it was punchin’ out of him
Screams and screams and screams was all I could hear
But da sound of a da gun, caused me to close my eyes

Some ask what did I see?
Well this is what I saw
It was me, the bullets were rippin’ through
But why me?

But as the bullets ripped through me
Like a creature was comin’ out of my soul
It caused me to open my eyes and there it was…
A lifeless Body
Just layin’ with his eyes open

But was he alive? Was he dead?
Why were his eyes open?
I wonder if he saw me?
Did I know this human being who was killed right in front of me?
Was God sendin’ me a message?

I guess this da reason why I can’t cry at night
Because I see the ones that are dead and not the ones that are alive
My mommy once told me

Everything happens for a reason
But for what reason was it for me to see a life taken?

So as I walked slowly to da person
I saw his eyes begin to close and words became to drift out his mouth….
“Run shorty run”
So I took off runnin’
But when I was tired of runnin’ it was dat sound again
The Gun
This time it was even louder
Almost as if it was right beside me
And there I was stuck again

To where you ask?
Right there on the pavement
Where it all started
I watched da killer take the last breath out of a human I barely knew
7 years later, a wonderful lady gave me a challenge to tell her what Danger looks
like

Well…
Danger is black
Danger is loud
Danger is life
Danger is Death
Danger is a human who would take another human from this earth
Danger is right in front of you
Just open your eyes and look.

My Hood

My hood is my hood
My beef is my beef
But to be real
All I have to do is be me
Things have come and things have gone
I use to couldn’t wait to live my life
But now I can’t wait to get home
Happiness for smilin’ and pains for cryin’
But things get mixed up
F***** in the game
No one’s at fault and no ones to blame
But whats the point
Oh yeah, I know his name
When I was doin’ it, it was a game
But I look back
Now I’m a shame

Why

Why take people lives when you can save their lives
Why beat your child when you can love ‘em
Why be something that you’re not and say something smart that can get you shot
Why smoke and make your parents catch a stroke
Why me
Why you
Stop trying to put yourself in people’s shoes that’s not for me and you
The only thing we want to do is shoot, WHY….

Judged

Old ladies see me
and hold their purses tight
little kids see me
and take off running
police see me
and harass me quick
girlfriend calls my home
with a whole bunch of BS
judges see me
and shake their head
but God looks down
as I make my bed
but when I look in the mirror
I see exactly what everyone sees